I’d never heard of this until earlier this week. I got a random email from Charlotte at the BBC, asking me to comment on this custard toast nonsense. Turns out Charlotte had asked on Twitter for someone to talk, so my boss from way back at Capita had told them to talk to me. What a lark!

I looked up this viral thing. To be honest I wasn’t enamoured. Not thick enough, or unctuous enough to be truly satisfying. It looked like it would run off the toast, plus an airfryer? No no. I am not buying one just to make a vaguely edible confection. I have a mini blow torch, and I stand firm that every girl should have one. But hey, got a grill (broiler)? Use that!

BBC Radio Berkshire were lovely to me. We had a pretty good time just boggling at some creations, and I’m afraid the custard toast got a thumbs down from Bridgitte.

I made a few other versions of my own.

The thickest Greek yoghurt you can find, labneh, or proper full fat cream cheese, add vanilla, and honey. Pile THAT onto toast and it’s all you need. Plus, if you want French Toast, make French Toast. Have that bit of a treat, enjoy life.

1 – A decent custard is a joy, but make the instant one if you like as it’s easy, but only add half the boiling water so it’s all thick and gorgeous. Have your bread ready toasted, any fruit bread would be brilliant, then apply the warm custard. Me? I’d add a little sugar or honey and blowtorch it to get some colour.

2 – Get your slice of toast, brush with extra virgin olive oil, grate a halloumi and cheddar mix on to it, and grill. Perfect.

3 – Again with the olive oil, nutella or chocolate spread of your choice, then a sprinkle of sea salt.

4 – Tahini and chocolate spread, also a winner.

5 – Marmite and marmalade turns out to be a winner! Thanks Bethan! Bridgitte really liked that one.

6 – Crumbled crispy bacon mixed with marmalade.

Marmite and cream cheese with grapes. Yes, really. Bridgitte couldn’t try this one, as the BBC said no to a blowtorch. [sigh]

1 slice toast on whatever bread you like
2 tbs cream cheese
1 tsp marmite
Mix wet ingredients until well combined. At this point you can probably convince people it’s peanut butter, but don’t do that. That’s mean.
Dollop onto your toast.
Apply sliced grapes, artfully.
Then apply heat by use of a grill or a blow torch.

Raspberry ‘custard’ Toast

Thick yoghurt
Raspberries
Vanilla extract
Mix the above all together, dollop onto your ready and waiting toast.
Drizzle CARAMEL SAUCE.
Apply grill or blow torch!

What do YOU like on your toast? Tell all!